I had a dream last night. It was really nice. I dreamt that my grandfather was here. I didn't dream that he hadn't passed away, but rather that he had... come back. That he had been in a coma or something rather than dead.
I took him around town, showed him the sights. After all, he hadn't been around for fifteen years. A lot has changed. The world has changed. I've changed.
I gave him my iPhone and taught him how to use it. We went to Wal-mart and looked at all the new stuff. We got some tools for his tomato garden.
We talked. We laughed. We smiled. And I realized something I hadn't known before.
I miss him.
I was only ten years old when Papa passed away, but I still remember his smile, his face, his blue eyes. I remember his rough skin brushing against my cheek when he kissed me good night when my dad and I were leaving his house.
And I got to experience that again, in my dream. I got to show Papa how I'd grown, how I've changed. I got to show him how I wasn't a little boy anymore, but a man -- a man who's had a ton of bad things happen and still came through.
I'd catch Papa looking at me, smiling at me. There was a distant look in his eyes sometimes, and I think he was trying to absorb me into his memory, to memorize every little detail in me.
I think Papa missed me too.
The last thing I remember before waking up, was Papa turning to look at me, a sparkle in his eyes. And I know my grandfather misses me. And I know he loves me with all his heart.
I love you too, Papa.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Papa's Visit
Friday, October 17, 2008
Hobo packets!
Good recipe for a quick and easy dinner!
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Monday, September 8, 2008
Windy City, here I come!
I've been quiet for the past few weeks. Why, you ask? Because I've been working. Working hard. But the hard work finally paid off. I've been asked to join a company in Chicago as a full-time employee.
So I'm moving from redneck Georgia to the Windy City. Hell yeah!
I'm so excited!
Wish me luck. Next time I write, I'll have my own place in Chicago!
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Friday, August 1, 2008
The Legend of Neil
Looking for a great webshow to watch? Look no further than the Legend of Neil. In the same vein as Dr. Horrible and The Guild, Legend of Neil takes you on adventure through the world of Zelda.
Great shit.
Check it out: The Legend of Neil, Episode One
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Onward, to DragonCon! To Paradise!
It's official. I'm going to DragonCon this year, once again. I went a few years ago and had one of the best weekends of my life. It's gonna be great. I'm going to meet tons of my favorite stars and tons of like-minded geeks who worship all things SF&F.
Like Morena Baccarin.
And Jewel Staite.
Yeah. Unfortunately, I was looking forward to meeting Don S. Davis (aka Scully's Father on X-Files or General George Hammond from Stargate SG-1), but he passed away recently.
Oh, and I'm also going as an SG-1 Member, assuming I can scrape up the dough to get the vest and patches. I think that's all I need at this point. Just another $200!
If you're going to DragonCon and want to meet up for drinks or nerdy gawking at celebrities and naked women covered in paint, drop me a line: brianseitel (at) gmail.com
Monday, July 28, 2008
Total geekout!
Along the same lines as my last post, I'm feeling more and more like a failure these days. "Why?" you ask. Well, I've once again failed my save vs OMG-must-have-now! roll.
Check it out, my friends. Geekdom at its best: http://www.startrekonline.com/
That's right. Star Trek Online, an MMORPG set in the Star Trek Universe. Sounds... freaking... awesome! I wonder what Wil Wheaton would think. Maybe I should make WWWWT bracelets.
Now all I have to wait for is the Stargate SG-1 MMORPG. Sweet.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Failures in Geekdom
I've failed. I've failed my save vs. oh-my-god-that's-so-geeky-and-i-have-to-have it again. I've been exposed to Dr. Horrible.
Unfortunately for you, my dear reader, you can't watch it for free anymore. You can, however, head over to iTunes and buy the complete series (45 minutes or so) for a mere $4. Quite a steal. It's probably the best $4 I've ever spent.
Yes, geekiness rules once again. I've not only discovered Dr. Horrible, but I've also been exposed to the greatness that is Felicia Day. After Dr. Horrible, you see, I found out Felicia has a Twitter feed. Now I follow her on Twitter, and every once in awhile, she mentions this Guild thing. So I check it out. (Incidentally, Dr Horrible has a Twitter feed too.)
I've failed my save vs. geekdom again.
www.watchtheguild.com
Watch it. Geek out. Love it.
I'm gonna get the DVDs when I get some money.
God, I love being a geek.
Mr. Brooks
I watched a movie last night. It was pretty intense. Not intense in that my adrenaline went through the roof or that I was on the edge of my seat. It was intense in the way that my mind raced.
It was a movie about a serial killer. A psychopathic killer who was addicted to the act of murder. He didn't like it. He didn't relish it. His alter ego did, but the man himself did not. His addiction pushed him to do horrible things even though he knew it was wrong.
He managed to give it up for two years, not killing anyone. He was straight for two years until one night he gave in once again. The scene where he murdered a couple showed how much his addiction had been suppressed. The scene after showed how horrified he was that he'd given in to this monster, to this side of him that he'd thought had been suppressed forever.
I think, sometimes, we all have our Marshall's. We all have that inner demon begging us to do things that we know are wrong. And I think that when we give in, that rush that we feel only feeds the addiction. And I think that even when we think we've suppressed such horrible inner demons, they're really just hiding, biding their time for another strike when we're vulnerable, when we're cocky and arrogant and think nothing can hurt us.
Fortunately for the people around me, I'm not a murderer or a psychopathic anything. But I've got my own addictions to certain actions, certain attitudes.
I'm addicted to this computer, for one thing. I tell myself I'll go outside, swim in the pool, run around the block. And my inner demon cries for the Internet. I give in, the addiction flares in response. I never see the light of day.
And I regret. I rage against the addiction. Someday. Someday soon, I'll suppress it for good.
At least, that's what I keep telling myself.
American dependency on Oil
I'm sure you're tired of reading about it and talking about it. If so, leave now. For those of you still here, I'm going to state my views on the whole oil thing.
Awhile back I went to the Glenn Beck simulcast at the movie theatre. I think Tam went to it, too. Good stuff.
One thing that Beck talked about was drilling in ANWAR. They're drilling there, apparently. For ice. Not for oil.
This has Beck furious. He's gung-ho about drilling in America, especially ANWAR.
Bad idea, imo.
A few nights later, my brother and his friends had a get together, and I showed up. We got to talking about the simulcast, and someone mentioned that this Jindal guy was planning on drilling in Louisiana somewhere. Everyone immediately filled up their shotglasses and threw up a toast to Jindal.
I sort of quietly said "I think it's a bad idea."
The entire room got silent and they looked at me.
"What?" my brother's boss, Charlie, said.
"I think it's a bad idea. I think gas prices should keep going up."
He wasn't a happy camper. I don't blame him.
Believe me, I don't want to keep paying $4, $5 per gallon. I'd love to go back to 75 cents per gallon like when I first started driving. That'd be wonderful.
But drilling isn't the answer.
"Why?" Charlie asked.
"Because drilling anywhere will give Americans hope."
"Hope for what?"
"Lower gas prices."
"What's wrong with that?"
"If America starts thinking the gas prices are going to go back down, we'll have no reason to switch to another type of vehicle."
Charlie and the others stared at me for another moment, then Charlie answered.
"Then you're forcing everyone to switch to something else. Fuck that. I want a choice."
I shook my head sadly.
"You don't have a choice right now," I said.
He said "Sure I do."
No, my friend, you don't.
Right now, America is dependent on oil for transportation. There are no alternatives. None at all.
Yes, the technology is there. Yes, there are a handful of cities that have hydrogen-fuel cell stations, or electric stations, or whatnot. Apparently, there are three hydrogen stations in Atlanta.
But that's not good enough.
I can't walk down the street and buy a hydrogen-powered car and drive it everywhere I want to go. It's not feasible. What if I want to drive to Birmingham, AL? I can't. No fuel stations along the way, and as far as I know, there aren't any in Birmingham.
And let's face it. Every oil powered car you buy increases our dependency on oil for another decade.
Charlie shook his head and said, "How much would it cost to switch everyone over to hydrogen or natural gas or whatever?"
"Millions, if not billions, of dollars."
"That's right. And how long would it take?"
I shrugged. "Five, ten years, at the rate it's going now."
"Exactly!" he crowed, proud at his logic.
"But," I said. "if prices go down, that rate's going to slow down. It takes demand to raise production of those things. It takes demand to get those cars and fuel stations out on the road. And for every dime the gas prices go down, Americans are that much less likely to switch or demand to switch."
Right now, gas prices are inconvenient. They're not truly painful. People tighten up their belts, they eat out less, they make fewer trips to the store. They save a little bit of money that way. But it's not truly painful. It's just inconvenient.
People aren't willing to lower their standards of living to compensate for gas prices. So they just cut back. They keep the same cars, the same houses. They keep eating at the same restaurants, go out to the same theaters and concerts. They just do it less. It's inconvenient, but it's not painful.
When gas prices go up to the point where you literally cannot make it to the store by yourself, when you literally can't afford to eat out ever, when you've got no choice but to find an alternative... then it becomes painful.
Most of us know someone who's lost a lot of weight. Most of those people did it through sheer force of will. But that will wouldn't be there if there weren't consequences for not losing weight. Why did they lose weight?
They lost weight because if they didn't, something painful, something catastrophic would happen: they would get diabetes, have heart failure, liver failure,... death.
It was an all-or-nothing situation. They HAD to lose weight... or they'd lose everything.
And that's the point that we have to reach in America. We have to reach that tipping point, that point of no return, where gas prices are so high that we literally can't afford to keep up that activity anymore.
Once gas prices hit six, seven dollars a gallon, things will start changing a lot faster.
Hydrogen stations will come in a lot faster. Two to three years, instead of five to ten. It might cost a little bit more, but in the end it will wind up saving money.
Right now, there are no alternatives. There are no choices.
Charlie wants to have a choice. I do, too. But right now there isn't one. And progress on those fronts are moving too slowly. Five to ten years is not enough.
And if during that time, the government announces they're going to drill in America, then interest in alternative fuel technology is going to drop like a brick in a well.
So don't drill. Let the gas prices go up. Tighten your belts. Stop by car dealerships and mention you're interested in a hydrogen fuel-cell car, a natural-gas car, an electric car. Let everyone know that we need alternatives, and we need them now.
And what's truly ironic about the whole thing is that once we develop viable alternatives and people start switching to hydrogen, natural gas or electric cars... once that happens, gas prices will plummet. The demand won't be there to sustain such high prices.
But I feel it's better to have two, three, four alternatives than to have no choice at all.
When you've got hydrogen, natural gas, oil and electricity competing to power your cars, the power leaves the fuel company's hands and enters your own. YOU have the power to decide. YOU have the power to determine the prices. Maybe not individually, but as a consumer.
Prices for all four will drop like a wet cat out of a window, because they'll have to compete.
The oil companies don't have to compete right now. There's nowhere else we can go. But the minute we can say "I'm taking my dollar elsewhere"... then we can change this.
Don't drill in America. Don't increase imports of oil. Don't give Americans false hope.
Reducing prices now will only postpone the inevitable.
Suck it up.
Develop alternatives.
Give us what we Americans should already have.
Freedom.
The freedom to choose.